Survival Tactics

With the title sewn up and Europa League spots too confusing to care about, the eyes of the nation are fixed on this weekend’s intriguing relegation denouement.

Depending on your viewpoint, Sunday’s battle to avoid the drop is either a gladiatorial scrap where only the heroic will survive, or just four insipid teams playing fear inspired football. Either way, Sunday’s matches are impossible to ignore.

Add to the equation rumours that the three relegation-threatened North East clubs could sue Man United for fielding a weakened team against Hull, and it’s been another barking week in high-stakes football. This added spice has made the question of who should go down all the more interesting for the neutral.

So to make things simpler - barring a miracle Middlesborough are going down, and even if they lose against Chelsea, Sunderland should survive. So realistically comes down to one of two - Hull or Newcastle.

If Joey Barton, Dennis Wise and Mike Ashley were not enough to put the neutral off Newcastle already, the murmurings of potential legal action against Man United should tip the scales. Journalists and pundits have already pointed out the obvious holes in this pathetic argument. Firstly, Newcastle have been beyond pitiful all season and only have themselves to blame for their predicament. Secondly, a third string Man United team would give Hull more of a game than most Premier League teams, possibly even more than first-team stars fearful of injury ahead of Rome on Wednesday. All the above are valid points, but there is one thing that has barely been mentioned...

Why now? Why is this an issue when there is still football to be played? It reeks of the last act of a desperate football club. The very fact that the integrity of another club is being called into question prior to a ball being kicked, completely invalidates their own character and integrity.

Newcastle should be concentrating on the last 90 minutes of their season and nothing else. They need a result at Villa before any accusing fingers can be pointed. For this reason I hope they lose. Moreover, I hope Hull lose too and still stay up. That will shut the litigious murmurings up once and for all.

As a post-script, I expect Alan Shearer will stay at Newcastle if they are relegated. Incredibly stubborn as a player, I can’t see him leaving St James Park as an outright failure. However, if by some miracle they do survive, watch him jump back into the cosy confines of the Match of the Day studio like a shot... I would.